Thou Shalt Not "Suck My Ass"

And you thought this was a family blog? We would not normally print the off-color language you see above, but in this case it seems appropriate, as it is excerpted from an official league document from the year 1897, a directive intended to eradicate swearing in baseball. Yes, it's amazing how "fresh" this language seems today, more than a century later—so fresh that an online auction house isn't quite sure whether it should be sold. A bit of background: The chief proponent of this hopeless proposal was John T. Brush, then owner of the NL's Cincinatti franchise. It was much ridiculed at the time, as was Brush, who had a penchant for needlessly draconian action that irritated both players and his fellow owners. (You can read all about Brush in my book, Spalding's World Tour.) Suffice it to say, boys will be boys. Always have been. Always will be.

Comments

[SF]

Best motherfucking post ever, YF, you prick-eating bastard!

[Nick-YF]

This is fucking hilarious.

[sam-YF]

Fuck yeah! awesome.

(that felt oddly satisfying)

[SF]

Hank Steinbrenner is a cunt-lapping dog!

(just kidding. I hardly know the guy.)

[walein]

Turns out Albert Belle was just a throw-back player.

[Nick-YF]

nice one, brother!

[Brian]

Y'know, I am a big fan of the now ended HBO tv series Deadwood, which coincidently enough, is a close-as-makes-no-difference portrayal of the very era as this document.

But, the funny thing of it is I was always a little skeptical of the unusual amount of swearing used on that show; Thinking, ironically enough, that while I myself have no problem telling certain people "Oh, go f**k yourself!" or "You c**k sucker" or possibly "Kiss my a55 you son of a bi*ch!" that even the wild west of the late 1800's would have a higher measure of decorum that the modern-day blue collar tongue would find difficult to match.

Shows how much I knew!

Because, I gotta say, I would have a hard time finding the right moment to spring "I'll make you suck my a55!" on someone. And I feel pretty confident that I have never had the occasion to question someone's 'pedigree' in quite that way, if you know what I mean.

So... son of a bi*ch!

[Philip Flip Kromer]

If this is real there's some pretty significant antedating in that. Language Logger Geoff Nunberg runs down the history of swearing in this article -- he cites an earliest usage of "Go F@#k Yourself" as 1920.

If you have access to the Oxford English Dictionary in some form, I can't recommend highly enough the
OED entry on f!!k. The earliest cite as an abstract profane verb (i.e. /not/ used to mean copulation) is 1922:

1922 JOYCE Ulysses 587 God f!!k old Bennett! 1929 F. MANNING Middle Parts of Fortune II. xv. 379 'F~{k the bloody thing!’ he said fiercely under his breath. 1955 S. BECKETT Molloy 69 F*$k the son of a bitch. ... 1969 ‘J. MORRIS’ Fever Grass ii. 24 Why don't you..tell whoever it is to go f**k themselves?

"F*(king" used in a non-copulation sense ('as a mere intensive') goes back much further, to mid-1500s:

a1568 A. SCOTT Poems iv. 55 Thir foure, the suth to sane, Enforsis thame to f!!king. 1680 ROCHESTER Poems on Several Occasions (1950) 30 Through all the Town, the common F!!king Post, On whom each Whore, relieves her tingling C?%t. 1707 [see FR1GGING vbl. n.]. c1888-94 My Secret Life III. 228 This house had but eight rooms, and two mere closets to let out for f!!king. ... 1922 JOYCE Ulysses 580 I'll wring the neck of any bugg3r says a word against my f!!king king.

[Yankee Fan In Boston]

pettitte is coming back!

http://tinyurl.com/2c3t43

[Atheose]

Pettitte can suck my ass!

Hehe, just kidding. Hilarious post though.

[rz-yf]

Interesting that you should post this now, YF. This past weekend while watching all the College Football, there were several commercials / PSA's asking fans to cut out the taunting, heckling, etc. at the games fans attend.

I can only imagine the reaction both Yankee and Red Sox fans would have if the MLB issued similarly worded statements. (Pittsburgh actually does have a "this is a family atmosphere, as such no swearing, etc. will be tolerated" announcement at the beginning of the games, but there are no real fans in the stands at Pirates games anymore, so it doesn't make a difference anyway. People only take their kids to Pirates games so they can teach them how to be good losers.)

[MikeJ]

Boys will be boys is the dumbest and laziest tautology out there.

[YF]

MikeJ. Dumb and lazy? Really? It may be dumb, and it may be tautological, but the essential point is that this attempt to eradicate swearing in a professional sporting contest was completely ridiculous, and destined for failure. Because men are going to curse. So, you can kiss my ass if you don't like the writing here.

[sam-YF]

YF dont you mean he can "suck your ass"?

[TedL]

Would be great if true, but this smells like a hoax.

[YF]

Ted: There is some discussion on the SABR 19th century committee's listserve that this is, in fact, a hoax. But I think it's real (as does the eminent John Thorn). I believe there is solid physical evidence that the document is from 1898, so the hoax issue goes only to whether or not it is an official league document. My feeling, not having studied it, is that it's precisely the kind of ridiculous, overbearing legislation that was the hallmark of John Brush, who instigated the movement to ban swearing "at any or whatever cost."

[Jackie (SF)]

This is probably the most awesome blog post I have ever read. Nice (fucking) job, guys!

[Brian]

The document should probably have been titled

"SPECIAL F**KING INSTRUCTIONS TO PLAYERS"

But in any case if it IS a fraud, someone went through a huge mount of effort to duplicate the look, the style, the font and the feel of a late 19th century publication. Not to mention the paper, which most assuredly IS old.

Not only that but the document itself is in the hands of Robert Edward Auctions and they fully intend to auction this bit of baseball history in the spring, so if it is a hoax it surely is an elaborate one!

If it's not a hoax, Geoff Nunberg and a butt-load of historians will indeed need to re-think the whole time-line of when the f**k people stopped saying tarnation and when exactly did they start saying things like ...go f**k yourself Mr. smarty-pants Nunberg; looks to me like Deadwood was FAR more accurate than you were, c**ksucker!

He He He, I love this thread!

[SoxRuleAlways]

Great historical post, but let's get back to business here, shall we?
I think it is important to point out that there has been factual proof presented that yhe Yankees players are in fact engaging in gay sex regularly.
Do a search on the net. There is a gay former Yankees clubhouse employee who has sworn under oath that he saw Derek Jeter and Whore-hay Posada engaging in gay sex in the clubhouse sauna and this same former employee was often propositioned by Yankees players for gay sex.
To be fair, there were quite a few Yankees players who would be cruel to this employee, calling him faggot and injuring him on occasion.
This gay guy also apparently was involved with Mariano Rivera's brother, who is supposedly openly gay.
Now, obviously I am a Red Sox fan. I do have tremendous respect for Mariano Rivera, though. He is a legend.
All this is just to show that there is factual evidence to back up when someone claims via verbal taunts that the Yankees fuck ass - they do indeed and perhaps photos exist of shit covered dicks in some recessed repository of sick Yankees esoterica.

[Ben Dover]

Here is an article regarding the above post by SoxRuleAlways :

Gay Ex-Yankee Employee Plans a Tell-All Book About Baseball Teams Gay Behavior
By Dylan Vox

In 1998 former Yankees club house attendant Paul Priore brought a 50 million dollar lawsuit against the club and some the members stating that he had been sexually harassed and was fired for being a homosexual. Priore lost his suit when the Yankees showed that he was actually fired for stealing from the locker room, but he is now planning on writing a tell-all book about his homophobic abuse, which even includes a steam room scene between Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada. The problem is, he is looking for a writer for his controversial tale on, where else, Craigslist.org.
The Naked Gun first got wind of the story about a decade ago when they posted the court transcripts on their site, which is known for uncovering some of the oddest bits of news. Paul Priore had claimed that he was harassed and taunted by several Yankees who called him "faggot," and had made sexual advancements and innuendoes toward him.

According to his court complaint, which was filed with the New York's State Supreme Court after winning his case at the trial level and having it immediately over turned on appeal, Priore made numerous accusations toward the team and some of it's most famous members about some inappropriate and harassing conduct.

In the complaint, former closing pitcher Bob Wickman, who left the club in 1997 and is currently on the Braves rooster, was said to have "on numerous occasions, exposed his penis, rubbed his penis on the Plaintiff (Priore), grabbed and touched the plaintiff’s private parts, and attempted to insert his penis in plaintiffs mouth." The claim went on to say that Wickman had threatened bodily harm and had repeatedly called Priore a "faggot" in front of other members of the club.

Also implicated in the harassment suit were Brian Cashman, Thomas May, Jeff Nelson and Marino Rivera who were all members of the team during 1996 and 1997 the time of Priore's employment. The club denied all of the charges and said that Priore had been fired for stealing from the locker room and not, as he claims, because of his HIV status or his homosexuality.

On the outset, it appeared that this was a straightforward case. Either the team had been acting in a prison type mentality and Priore deserved his day in court, or here was a man who saw an opportunity to get some money and some notoriety from one of the countries most beloved baseball franchises. The story, however, took some interesting and unexpected turns that made this case not so simple.

The trial court found in favor of Priore, but the decision was quickly challenged and over turned. The New York Supreme Court won't hear an appeal of the case. By not hearing the reversal, the Supreme Court gave a victory to the Yankees.

The sworn statements of those questioned said that Priore was fired because of missing equipment. Several players did admit to calling him a "faggot", but also said that it was used in a joking manner and was common behavior when referring to team mates, opponents and anyone else within the locker room setting. The statements were not, in fact, made toward Priore because he was a homosexual, but instead were just juvenile rantings of the baseball team.

Priore's sworn statements went into much further detail documenting several sexual encounters with other players. Priore detailed a full-blown relationship with outfielder Ruben Rivera in which the two men would have sexual relations in the locker room.

Rivera was later "voted off " the team by the other players when it came to light that he had stolen a bat and glove of All-star shortstop Derek Jeter and sold the items to a sports memorabilia dealer. He was removed from the team and later apologized for his actions.

Priore also recalled walking in on Jeter and current starting catcher Jorge Padosa in the steam room together before the three men went to a Mariah Carey concert. Priore said they were engaged in sexual conduct and later in the evening asked Priore if he wanted to join in. The story was like one straight out of a gay erotica novel and didn't seem to quite match up with the facts of the case.

After the case was overturned, Priore seemed to drop out of site until December 2003 when his lover Guillermo Sanchez, a 21-year-old gay Mexican immigrant, was found hanging by a scarf from a tree in New York's Flushing Meadows Park. The Medical Examiner's Office ruled his death a suicide, but his boyfriend, Priore, who worked as a park advocate, suspected there was foul play in the incident.

There was allegedly a letter found on Sanchez's body written to the attorney for Paul Williams, who was the current grounds keeper at Yankee stadium. Williams had filed a lawsuit against pitcher Jeff Nelson who had beaten him up during a brawl in the bullpen earlier that year.

Details of the letter were not revealed, but Priore seemed to think that the evidence in the letter would have shed some light on William’s case against Nelson and to keep the information from getting out, Sanchez was killed. An investigation looked into the bizarre scenario, but no chargers were ever brought against anyone.

Cut to July 2007. Absent from the news for the past few years, the guys at Deadspin.com caught a Craigslist posting by Priore who is now seeking a writer to help him tell his controversial and fantastical story. The posting reads, "I have many fascinating "insider" stories to tell about the New York Yankees, some of which are rather steamy." He is seeking an experienced writer to work "on spec" (good luck) to help him tell his story and then offers a 50-50 split for any future profits that come in from his tell-all book. He is also asking that his writer have many literary contacts to help him shop the book around.

It's hard to say what of this story is accurate and which parts are the creations of a somewhat suspect mind, but one thing does stand true. There is interest in the going on's of professional sports teams, and this is not the first or last time that the sexuality of athletes will be questioned. There is so much more about the lives of celebrities that the public will never know, and in most cases, who would really want to?