The Official YFSF Record Book Annotation System

We can no longer avoid the clarion call: The American People—even the liberal New York Times, dammit—demand typographic action. Baseball's record books shall be besmirched no more. Or rather, the achievements therein shall be properly labeled. An asterisk for steroids. Yes. Of course. But how can that single dingbat suffice to explain away more than a century of exploitation, chicanery, and all-around evil doing? Fear not, fans of our Great Pastime, YFSF is here to supply you with a comprehensive system of annotation to illuminate the skeletal closets of the national game. Henceforth:

* = Steroids
! = Amphetamines
$ = Gambling
|| = Cocaine
~ = Alcohol
≤ = Before integration
# = Before expansion
. = Dead ball era
∞ = Wore glasses
† = Crazy religious freak
¢ = Lousy tipper
ƒ = Womanizer
¥ = Asian fetish
œ = Funny accent
√ = Ass kisser
∆ = Trianglophobic
X = General douchebag

Comments

[Nick-YF]

brilliant!

[Nick-YF]

from now on when people tell me about how asterisks should be used I'll refer them to this post. This is the best argument I've ever seen against it.

[Mike YF]

What about Ritalin on a college paper?

[Nick-YF]

That would be an "A-"

[attackgerbil]

This is just about my favorite post ever.

[IronHorse (yf)]

Ralizing this is a HUMOR thread I don't intend to go far with this, but does no one else see a distinction between illegal performance enhancing actions and say, alcohol, coke, deadballs, lack of minority players, etc., etc.

I am not a big asterisk fan, but I don't think all infractions and ethical lapses are equally relevant to on-field performance so I am also not convinced that all asterisks are a bad idea.

[Mike YF]

Funny, that's what I got!

[attackgerbil]

Should have signed my comment

attackgerbil~X⇑ (drunk douchebag chronic masturbator)

[SF]

Total genius!!!

[soxgirl]

IH - I don't disagree that intentionally taking PEDs is different than just happening to live during the dead ball era or a time of segregation. But how do you decide who to asterisk for steroids? Do you rely on a failed drug test? The whole point of places like Balco was to keep creating drugs that wouldn't be detected in a test -- HGH still isn't. Player admission? The testimony of someone who saw a player inject himself?

[Nick-YF]

"This is just about my favorite post ever."

I agree.

[Paul SF]

I like how the symbols are indicative of the actual infraction (or caveat), I didn't notice this until the cross.

Either that's subtle humor or I'm an idiot. Please reserve your judgments.

[LocklandSF]

⇑ = chronic masturbator

Well played AG, well played. Funny stuff all around, but that one really got me.

[DAW]

"Please reserve your judgments."

Damn, Paul, you always spoil the fun!

signed The Sheriff ~~~$X

[Devine]

It's been said already, but...wow, this post is, like, pretty much the best thing ever.

[Nick-YF]

personally I find cocaine and ass-kisser the most clever symbols.

[SF]

shouldn't Manny Ramirez get the "?", just on principle?

[Beth]

Ha ha ha ha! This made me laugh out loud. I especially appreciate Asian fetish and General Douchebag.

[yankeemonkey]

Trianglophobic?

-YM (~∞X)

[DAW]

I'm actually so much more than an alcoholic, gambling, douchebag, but my keyboard doesn't have all those cool characters...

[yankeemonkey]

Copy-paste, Andrews...copy-paste.

[FenSheaParkway]

; Tee-Ball Era

[FenSheaParkway]

Awesome post. Hours of fun for the whole family.

[Devine]

I'm fond of ! = Amphetamines, myself.

[AndrewYF]

I'm afraid I don't understand the check mark for ass-kisser. Otherwise, brilliant.

[yankeemonkey]

You know, with all the hoopla about the Mitchell report, we've neglected to discuss one major development in MLB in recent days...

David Eckstein has signed with the Blue Jays! Truly, now they are locks for a championship, no? Or is Lyle Overbay gone?

-X

[attackgerbil]

Andrews... unicode is your friend.

And since I never know when enough is enough..

½ = plucky second baseman
Ø = moron
Ǿ = moron who wears their hat crooked
Ç = stupid goatee
Ɣ = gaudy neckchain sporter
ɷ = man boobs
ʘ = ahole

and ...drumroll ....

Ƣ = vi agra spokesman

[Paul SF]

Hi-larious, YF and AG

-Paul, ÇØ∞

Hey, that kind of looks like a gun in Courier font. Or maybe more like a Super-Soaker. Cool.

[YF]

Stupid goatee kills.

[yankeemonkey]

You had me at plucky second baseman...

[DAW]

Thanks, gerb

Have you guys heard that ~ + || + ! = . ?

[attackgerbil]

Andrews, that is really, really funny.

[attackgerbil]

I think "asian fetish" is my favorite .. Yen works twice in context.

[attackgerbil]

Nick's right about cocaine... funnier and funnier the more I look at it.

[SF]

Yen works more than two ways, Gerb. There's a, uh, geometric thing happening too.

[Honkball]

Long time lurker, infrequent contributer but this one was just too much fun, here's my two cents

Þ = beer gut
Њ = HGH
μ = little leaguer
λ = curtain caller
⌂ = homer

David Wells Þ~X

[attackgerbil]

> geometric

H A !

(couldn't put the letters together... he hate me spam filter)

[attackgerbil]

Honk, that's awesome, especially micro and lambda.

[SF]

Dan Haren to the Diamondbacks for six minor leaguers.

Hank on the horn to Smith? ;-)

[YF]

Two more:

Ò = Spitballer
π = Overeater

[Eric Goebelbecker]

Selig gets an 'X'!

[Cranky Guy]

Hey I just staggered into this site for the first time tonight. I'm a Cleveland fan so guess it is appropriate this year for me to butt into the middle of you guys!

I did a post yesterday you might like. It's about how in the early days of baseball cigarettes were the drug of choice.

The annotation should be:

0- = smoker

[TJ]

¥ <---- Thats me lol asian fetish mmmmmmMmMmMMmmMmMm i get excited just thinking of all the asians in the Sox farm system lol

[YF]

That's a good one cranky. Actually, if you read my book (Spalding's World Tour), there's a reference in there to Fred Pfeffer, who responded to a batting slump in 1888 by smoking 4 cigars before each game. (His mother's recommendation, actually.) You can imagine how that worked out.

[Cranky Guy]

Thanks YF I will check it out. I feel old because I can vaguely recall seeing players smoking in the dugout on TV. How the game has changed.

[YF]

Some nice additions over on Deadspin:

http://deadspin.com/sports/mlb/-334386.php

[Lyndsay]

? = manny being manny

[John - YF]

Where's the symbol for Dipper or Chewer?

[Atheose]

Should have signed my comment

attackgerbil~X⇑ (drunk douchebag chronic masturbator)

You masturbate drunk douchebags? But YF, douchebags don't deserve to be masturbated!

[attackgerbil]

> Where's the symbol for Dipper or Chewer?

How about ڀ

[SF]

You are late with that one, Lyndsay!

http://yanksfansoxfan.typepad.com/ysfs/2007/12/the-official-yf.html#comment-93577106

[Lyndsay]

I figured I was...

so there's no symbol for "Rage problem" yet? what about for the intangible skill known as "scrappiness"?

[Lyndsay]

ωώ = stripper 2nd wife

[Tom]

Great post, greater comment thread. Def. had me at ! = amphetamines.

[Rod]

You guys have it all bass ackwards. It's all those NOT juicing whose numbers should be flagged. How dare they not sacrifice their health for our amusement?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gF805NG21ag

[DannoRecommends]

Way to go Red Sox.

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