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Thursday, November 02, 2006

For Whom the Sheff Tolls

You didn't think we were going to let our little scoop go at one post did you? Not a chance. Yesterday we brought you the news that our combative (and soon to be ex) rightfielder, Gary Sheffield, will be sending another of his patented stinging liners into the Yankee dugout, but this in the form of a tell all book on his time in the pinstripes. Surprised? Don't be; this isn't even Sheff's first book. (It's a good bet he's the only member of PEN with 400 homers.) Which is not to say he couldn't use a bit of help picking out a title for the new tome. A few suggestions from the staff here at YFSF:

- The God Delusion
- Team of Rivals
- The Affluent Society
- The End of the Affair
- The Sheff and the Fury
- Fiasco
- I Don't Like You
- Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, and How Baseball Got Big
- The World Is Flat—No Seriously, And There Were No Dinosaurs Either
(with Carl Everett)

Other ideas? We're sure they'd be welcome.

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"G is for Cancer"

"Swinging for the Fences: Right Field at Fenway Park"

"F*ck All'y'all: The Gary Sheffield Story"

attack gerbil's rejected titles and ghost writers:

Battlefield Sheff - L. Ron Hubbard
A Town Like Malice - Nevil Shute
Catch-11 - Joseph Heller
Lord Of The Dropped Flies - William Golding
The World According To Gary - John Irving (alt.: A Prayer For Gary Meany)
One Fell Out Of The Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesey
Sheff Life with Steinpecker - Tom Robbins

and my personal favorite..

Do Andros Dream Of Electric Sheep? - Phillip K. Dick

Pride, Power, Pinstripes and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Crime Dog and Punishment: McGriff, Me and The Padres - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

A Tale Of Six Seven Cities - Charles Dickens

Just A Little Cream: It Never Hurt Noone

Some unlikely titles...

No Hard Feelings
A Documentary History of the New York Yankees (2004-2006)
Profiles in True Leadership: Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez
The Sheffield Guide to Contract Negotiations
Swingin' Easy
My Life Among the Sheffworks

More unlikely titles...

Move That Pole a Little to the Left; No, Camera Left
The Mistake of Me: Why a Man Who Represents Himself has an Idiot for a Client
Gary, Gary, Quite Contrary

Stan, I like the ones you put up, especially the contract one, but it imagine it would be printed with a yellow cover and was titled: "The Sheffield Guide To Contract Negotiations For Dummies"

I'm Payin for the Goddamn Limo

Scott Boras Is a Big, Fat, Idiot: And Other Observations from the Best-Hitting Agent in MLB.

...hilarious...you guys put up some funny ones...i think my favorite was: "...cuckoo's nest", gerb...i'm still laughing...

here's another couple of unlikely titles, and not just because they've already been used: "Pride of the Yankees" and "Yankee Doodle Dandy"....

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